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Where’s the Love? Police arrest Naruto “super-fan”

Orange ninja are back in the news, after today’s Mail on Sunday reported the unfortunate activities of one Dave Kishimot (21), an anime fan from Chipping Ongar, arrested on Saturday night for trying to break into a video store on his local high street.

Mr Kishimot told police that he had been partway through an attempt to watch the entire anime series Naruto, from start to finish.

“It was much longer than we thought,” he confessed. “The original series alone takes ninety-one hours. And Shippuden is another hundred! And that’s before we got to the bloody movies.”

It was the feature-length spin-offs that proved to be his downfall. Realising that the second film Naruto Shippuden the Movie: Bonds was not officially released in the UK until Monday, Mr Kishimot lost a fateful game of scissors-papers-stone that determined he would be the man to steal a copy from the alarmed and security-guarded video store.

Tired and emotional, having been watching Naruto solidly for over a week with only the briefest of “ninja naps” and toilet breaks, Mr Kishimot was apprehended by a random patrol as he feebly attempted to kick the door down. A police spokesman cited the fluorescent orange jumpsuit as something of a giveaway, even at night.

“They’re calling me a thief,” Kishimot wailed. “But I only wanted to show how much I loved the show. By stealing it.”

Mr Kishimot previously tried to demonstrate his affection for Naruto by changing his name by deed poll to that of the original creator, but inadvertently spelled “Kishimoto” wrong on his application form.

“That was a bit stupid,” he conceded. “But I’ll change it to the right spelling as soon as I can scrape up the cash. Believe it.”

The Mail article also features a quote from Manga Entertainment’s Jerome Mazandarani, although it wasn’t much use. “Sod off, it’s early!” he said to journalists who called his home. “Don’t you know what day it is?”

Naruto Shippuden the Movie: Bonds, is out tomorrow in the UK from Manga Entertainment.

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